Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.
Dos Equis was a soothing balm back when my wallet had been scorched as a result of being a broke student. It was reliably the non-pale ale special at Nashville’s since-defunct Flying Saucer, selling for $2.50 per pint and allowing me to drink, lose at trivia and be able to tip my server without feeling like (more of a) scumbag. The amber, while not technically a dark beer, was rich enough to make me feel like I was drinking something fancier than a macro-produced brew.
That instilled a minor sense of loyalty, even as my scope expanded to hoppy brews and my wallet expanded beyond the $550 I’d made each month as a research assistant. Dos Equis has a special place nestled inside the poorest parts of my brain, alongside the instinct to save Ziploc bags and buy Abercrombie & Fitch clothing, but only at thrift stores.
Thus, I was happy to give the company’s newest brand extensions a try. This time around we’ve got a michelada, new margarita flavor — I reviewed the traditional lime versions here — and a non-alcoholic offering. Will they live up to the romanticized version of the beer I keep close to my heart?
Michelada: B-
In honor of a breakfast(ish) beer, I’m drinking this one in the morning on a college football Saturday, just in time to watch Vanderbilt tempt, then ultimately disappoint me yet again. At no point would you mistake this for a regular beer; crack the can and you’re surrounded by tomatoes. It’s like someone opened a can of soup nearby.
After a pretty maroon pour and a decent amount of foam, the first sip is undeniably nightshade. That fruit flavor is front and center, followed by a hint of lime and a handful of spices. Maybe a little chili powder? Definitely some salt. Either way, there’s a minimal beer taste to this one — which makes it an enticing AM tailgate drink.
It starts sweet, head-fakes toward spicy and then ends that way. That makes it a little bit much to drink all at once, especially in a 24-ounce king can. It’s sweet and tangy but there’s not enough beer here to balance it out.
Toss in a couple dashes of hot sauce and you’d be speaking my language, but this is a little too tame for me. Given the choice, I’d probably opt for my own locally-sourced red beer instead — but it’s still a decent enough option to grab at the liquor store on your way to the game.
Mango margarita: B
Dos Equis’ original canned margarita line — clocking in at a tidy 10 percent ABV — was successful enough to warrant a spinoff. I’m not sure mango would have been my first choice, but as I’ve discussed in a bunch of hard seltzer reviews, its inherent creaminess and solid translation to artificial flavoring makes it a canned cocktail cheat code.
It’s useful here to cover up the boozy strength of Dos Equis’ margaritas. That mango sweetness lays in thick up front before the slight burn of blanco tequila kicks in. That’s enough to warn you not to pound these cans, but not potent enough to keep you from coming back.
It’s a sipper, but ultimately a tasty one. Each gulp takes you from sweet to boozy to sweet, but I think I’d rather have that than an overly saccharine, sticky cocktail I get sick of three pulls in. It won’t be a go-to for me, but it’s something I wouldn’t mind grabbing from a tailgating cooler.
Lime & Salt Zero: A-
I’m on the record in being pro-NA beers. At least the new versions, which taste less stale and basic than the previous standard bearers like O’Douls. Dos Equis has thrown its hat into the ring with a beer that, if you aren’t reading the label carefully enough, appears to just be a can of lime juice and salt.
But instead you get a pale yellow lager with a reasonable head. The citrus and salt aren’t apparent from the scent off the top of the pour; it’s stale grain instead, letting you know there’s no alcohol in this brew.
The first sip starts off with the lime and salt advertised on the can and finishes malty. It’s surprisingly complex — to me, at least — and finishes with a sweet, slightly sloppy finish. It’s not crisp or dry, so the aftertaste bleeds outside those lines but is ultimately pleasant. The staleness you smell from the can doesn’t linger. Instead you get that citrus. It’s inviting you back to drink more.
You won’t mistake it for a beer, at least a regular one, despite that malt. But in terms of a replacement it’s easy to drink and simulates the experience of getting a tall, salted mug at your local Mexican restaurant. In terms of NA brews, it’s a solid one.
Would I drink it instead of a Hamm's?
Welcome to a new feature on these reviews; a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Dos Equis’ new beer, margarita or non-alcoholic offerings over a cold can of Hamm’s?
I might dig into the margarita if I’m looking for something with a little more kick, but a Hamm’s — particularly as a beer-back for a bloody Mary — fits the bill for me as a morning drink better than the michelada. The NA Lime & Salt is a nice change of pace beer that replicates the ritual of drinking with fewer calories and less sloppiness. That’s the winner in this group.
