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The definitive guide to watching MLB Opening Day

MLB’s Opening Day is one of the most glorious days in sports, a smorgasbord of baseball that starts at 1 p.m. and, because the Red Sox are playing in the 7 p.m. game, probably won’t end until like two in the morning.

But how do you approach the day. How can you maximize every second of baseball-watching goodness?

We’ve got you covered with a full-day guide to everything you need to watch Opening Day.

1 p.m. ET

Flip on over to ESPN to catch the Orioles and the Yankees. Play the fun game where you try to figure out if you know more than two of the Orioles’ names. (This is a game that everyone, including a few Orioles season ticket holders and possibly some members of the organization, will fail.)

Five minutes later, the Mets and Nationals will begin (fuboTV or MLB.tv) featuring a pitching matchup between two NL Cy Young contenders, Jacob deGrom and Max Scherzer.

2:10 p.m. ET

Find another monitor or a friend with an MLBtv subscription because it’s time for Cardinals at Brewers. Watch until you hear someone refer to Cardinals fans as the “best fans in baseball,” and then turn it off.

3:05 p.m. ET

It’s time for Braves vs. Phillies on ESPN+. At this point, if you are following along with my instructions, you’ve got three monitors going on your desk. It’s at this point your boss might come over and ask: What is going on? Where did get all these monitors? And: Who is that guy on the Orioles? I’ve never seen that guy before. Wait … is that … no. It’s not him. Is this seriously their Opening Day lineup?

Channel Phillies fans, toss a battery at him and run out of your office.

(Do not do any of this.)

3:37 p.m. ET

This is the listed start time of Tigers at Blue Jays. Fascinating.

Anyway, might be a good time to get a snack, go for a walk. Because …

4 p.m. ET

… This is when things get nuts. We have Diamondbacks at Dodgers starting on ESPN, then we get:

  • Astros at Rays
  • Cubs at Rangers
  • Angels at Athletics
  • Cubs at Rangers
  • Angels at Athletics
  • Giants at Padres
  • Indian at Twins
  • Rockies at Marlins
  • Pirates at Reds
  • White Sox at Royals

All those games start in a 15-minute window. If you want to watch all of those games, uh, go to a sports bar? This is too much baseball. There is no need to watch that much baseball.

Bonus game in the 4 p.m. hour: Flip over to the Rays game and count the fans in attendance at Opening Day. I’m not saying estimate the number of fans. I’m saying actually count them. It won’t take long.

7:00 p.m. ET

It’s time for Red Sox at Mariners on ESPN. Chris Sale vs. Marco Gonzales. If you’ve followed this schedule, you will be baseball-ed out and not want to watch a single pitch. I don’t care. This is bigger than you and me. Chug a coffee, sit down, and watch every last pitch.

Have fun out there.

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